My DM Likes to Post Duck-faced Belfies on MySpace
April 9th, 2016
Joe (Welby & Crumm)
Robin (Mogrann and Adrik)
- Discussed the DM’s fondness of taking and posting duck-face belfies on MySpace
- Multiple issues with printing new character sheets using HeroLab including bad ink output and wrong character stats
- Shitty presidential candidates
- Augusta senior trip to New York
- The federal government’s debt
- Maybe our last time ordering Jet’s pizza
- The cost of Brad Daniel’s cab rides to and from band practice ($60) and the fact he has bought 3 different scooters in the last few years. Two are broke down, so he bought a third one. This new one is only a 50cc engine so he to use roads with a 45 MPH or less speed limit.
- Aaron selling his house and negotiating to buy a new one
- DM had to resolve a few Roll20 map shenanigans as usual
8 PM start time with Ernie giving a recap of the previous session.
The party heads down a long hallway, still trying to locate their missing comrade, that lovable rascal halfling rogue, Webly Tosscoble. After walking about fifty feet, the group notices a small shadowy figure sneaking towards them. It is Welby at long last! The friends all engage in a tight embrace as Welby fills them in on his latest adventure.
Here are some of the particulars:
- The night of his disappearance, he went to inspect some noises he heard and came upon a ritual being performed in a building by three humanoid creatures (he now knows as hags). He could not discern the language, but was able to disrupt the ritual.
- He recognized one of them was wearing the same symbol as the one he found by the dead body of the mayor of Phandalin, a woman’s head surrounded by vipers.
- He was ambushed by four large wolves and two ogres. He almost made good his escape but was captured and shoved in a burlap sack.
- The ogres took him to a back room of this cave and left him tied in the burlap sack where he overheard a conversation take place between two females. One voice he recognized as the female drow elf from Cragmaw Castle who was in league with the bugbear leader. The other voice he never heard before but it was smooth, subtle and feminine. The new voice wanted to sacrifice the halfling trickster, but the female drow elf said “No! I need him and his bungling group of heroes still. There is much to do. Just keep him out of the way for the next two days. I have to take care of Lady Van Pelt before she ruins everything. Just dump him in the woods later for his party to find."
After information is exchanged and everyone is up to speed, the adventurers head back the way Welby came to better investigate the room where he was kept. They conclude this is a lair of a coven of hags, which the band had engaged in battle earlier. While in their lair, a hag’s actions are much more powerful, similar to a dragon in its lair. They also deduced they killed the green hags but believe the nightmare hag made good its escape. They search the room and furniture for clues. Various books, papers, vials, and a pit of bubbling red liquid all point to part of a very dark ritual. The group confiscates four scrolls on top of a desk, nine potions in a desk cabinet, a brooch, and a traveling spell book. (The potions are four healing and five greater healing which are distributed appropriately among them). The party realizes these dark rituals require two to five hags to complete and the ritual items found in this room are not really valuable to the outside world. “We need to put an end to this wretched evil,” Crumm declares, and with Mogrann’s help, begins to sanctify the heart of the hag lair. They start a fire quicker than “two shakes of a peter” and then observe the desks, papers, books and other ritual items burn in strange pallid green flames.
The party makes their way back out of the cave and Welby takes a minute to kick the dead ogres that captured him. “Good riddance,” he mutters to himself. Somebody suggests Welby “take a poop” on the dead ogres, but he thinks better of it. It is dusk as the gang leaves the cave and heads back towards Conyberry to regroup. After a long rest, they will continue their journey to Pinetree Ridge in search of Lady Van Pelt who is looking to hire adventurers to take care of “the Necromancer”.
Along the trail back to Conyberry, the front ranks of the marching order, Crumm in particular, get mixed up in some webbing that has overtaken the path. As the others try to free Crumm from his entanglements, the crew is ambushed by three giant spiders and an ettercap. Everyone is surprised except Welby. Mogrann is grabbed around the neck with webbing and he is unable to breath. After being the “tank” in the last battle at Wave Echo Cave and then recently being taken captive, Welby decides he wants to go full offensive. He puts on an amazing display of swordsmanship and footwork and kills two spiders quite quickly, jumping on the back of one and stabbing it through the back of the head with both his swords. Adrik kills the third spider with a guiding bolt of divine power while Mogrann breaks free of the webbing and finishes off the ettercap. The band of friends burn a path through the webs and Welby searches the immediate vicinity for other possible dangers. They arrive at their Conyberry campsite, set watch, and bed down for a long rest. Welby is happy to see his equipment is all still there.
NOTE: At this point, there was session disturbance due to hit point and hit dice discrepancies.
The gang wakes up in the morning refreshed and break camp. They decide to investigate the ruins at the Old Owl Well since it is not far off the path to Pinetree Ridge. Daran Edermath, retired adventurer, had asked them to check it out. He had heard of prospectors digging at the Old Owl Well ruins but were run out by the undead. Daran inferred the party could possibly gain favor with the Order of the Gauntlet for performing this deed. If time permitted, the comrades also agreed to examine the orc outpost, Wyvern Tor, as Crumm has been very vocal about bringing down vengeance on any orc tribes.
The band arrives at the Old Owl Well. The area is covered in brush and ruins. The watch tower is mostly destroyed and gone. There is a horrible stench permeating the surroundings. Three colorful tents, one large and two small, have been erected with some empty carts parked outside. Welby uses his expert stealth skills to sneak up to the two smaller tents and peek inside. The first tent is full of supplies and neatly organized. The second tent is half filled with supplies and also neatly organized. The masterful halfling thief begins to make his way to the large tent when a multitude of a dozen zombies come shambling from the tower ruins towards the party. They have discovered the cause of the stench! The agile rogue scurries up to the roof of the large tent while his warlock brother casts Hunger of Hadar and puts a dark void upon all the walking dead, causing darkness and area of effect damage. Welby blindly fires his hand crossbow into the void and hears it connect, and then a thud, hopefully taking one out. Crumm and Mogrann each drop a zombie as the creatures come out of the darkness. Cade misty steps to the top of the tent beside Welby. His brother gives him a quick look of disapproval as he hopes the tent can support both their weight. A human in red robes with a bald tattooed head suddenly steps out of the tent. “What is the meaning of this?” he says. Noticing necromancy symbols and using their arcane knowledge and history lore, the party recognizes him as a red wizard of Thay, which is a land far to the east run by a lich king. Crumm kills a zombie, Adrik casts a Spirit Guardian spell, and Mogrann takes out two more opponents. Welby scores a critical hit on a walker with a dagger and then finishes it off with a bolt from his hand crossbow. The necromancer, sensing himself in mortal danger if he stays too close to the crazed halflings on top of his tent, misty steps thirty feet away and casts a spell on Mogrann. The dwarf barbarian suddenly feels “like a brick”.
NOTE: At this point everyone breaks into a stirring rendition of “He’s a brick…house….”.
As the Hunger of Hadar and Spirit Guardian spells continue to wreak havoc during the skirmish, Adrik and Welby each polish off a zombie. Mogrann still cannot function due to his brick-like nature. Cade hits the enemy mage with a full complement of pink magic missiles from his wand. Welby seizes the opportunity and fells the red caster with a tremendous head shot from a hand crossbow bolt. Welby is kicking some serious ass! Adrik’s spirit guardian and Cade each dispose of an undead enemy. With the red wizard no longer in the battle, Mogrann finally shakes off the effects of the heaviness spell. He decides he better get useful in this fight and kills a rotting foe. Welby jumps down from his perch on top of the tent and plants double daggers deep in the last zombie’s head, finishing it with pizazz. Welby is still kicking some serious ass!
Cade performs a deep cavity search on the red wizard of Thay and finds nothing but a brown hole. Crumm, vengeful paladin his is, scalps the bald tattooed head of the dead necromancer on the off chance this is the same one Lady Van Pelt is looking to exterminate. Seeing Crumm perform the grisly deed, Mogrann proudly proclaims, “I am into animals, not scalping”. This statement gets a few raised eyebrows from his fellow comrades. Welby and Adrik investigate the large tent. It is well organized and looks to be living quarters.
They find in the tent:
- A medium sized chest containing 35 sp, 20 ep, 20 gp, 5 pp, 1 pearl (100 gp), a potion of healing, and scroll of darkness in a bone tube (Aaron, please confirm this)
- A tiny jeweled box (25 gp) containing a ring
They also take:
- 1 large tent with two side tents attached
- 2 small tents
- 2 horses
- 2 wagons
- Ink, quill, and 20 pieces of parchment
- 20 days iron rations
- General equipment and supplies
NOTE: The party finishes a short rest at this campsite. (The crew still needs to spend any hit dice and still needs to identify the ring found in the tent.)